Our thoughts are our lifelong companions.
They nurture our emotions, vet our moves yet sometimes, they become our enemies. They tell us to do more, to do better, in the harshest of ways.
We try to drown them out but their hold over us renders our attempts futile. Sometimes, we long to let the present seep in, to let it wash away our worries, to let it remind us to come alive.
The rumble of deafening voices echoes in my mind, its poisonous nectar lulling me into sweet oblivion. But it’s the meekest voice within me, barely a whisper, that has my will wrapped around its finger. I try to ignore it, walk away from it, but it has me chained with shackles around my wrist and no key to set me free.
I long to feel the wind in my hair, but all that caresses me is the cold dampness of the dungeon my thoughts have imprisoned me in. I long to feel foamy waves lash at my feet, but all that I comprehend are my thoughts nipping at my consciousness, threatening to send me to a deep, dark abyss. I long to fade into nothingness, to float around as a free speck, gliding across the sky, a slave to no rational thought. I long to come up to the surface, leave behind any reasoning that anchors me to the bottom of its malicious ocean. I long to gulp fresh air, to cut all the tethers weighing me down, to look up at wispy clouds, undulating plains spread before me, to hear the gush of water as it hurries down a crook, to close my eyes and breathe.
Just breathe.
©ADITTI HARI SHANKAR
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